I'm Sorry
by LadyPaige
Summary: Set during Deathstroke. What if Oliver had just said the words on his mind.


**I watched City of Blood (Yes, I am very far behind) and I just felt I had to write this.**

**Lot of Sladiver Fanfiction as of late. :D**

* * *

Slade did not look at Oliver as he walked from the interrogation room, moving past the desks and out the building. His plan would be set in motion and this war would begin as that evil dirty blonde brat searched for his sister.

Oliver watched him go and... He could not deal with it anymore. He sprinted from the office, running up to Slade but not before he grabbed a gun from a passing officer's belt.

Lance bolted across the room with his hands out in a 'stop' gesture. "Oliver. Don't."

Moira and Walter stepped into the room, it was full of officers drawing their guns, eyeing Oliver Queen.

"I'm sorry, okay." Oliver said. He swallowed. "I'm sorry."

Slade, who had kept walking at the commotion, stopped when he heard the apology.

"I'm sorry that I ran back. I'm sorry that you got hurt and died." Oliver said, feeling the sadness start to pull at him. "I'm sorry that Ivo killed Shado." the gun hung down loosely in his grip. "I wanted to die to save them, I would have done anything but he would not take it and if I did not decide in thirty seconds, they would both be dead."

"Oliver..." Moira watched her son in amazement.

"I moved in a snap decision but there was thought behind it." Oliver said, voice more calm. "Shado was not scared. She looked almost ready. I never wanted her to die."

Slade continued to face away from Ollie, hands slotted in his pockets.

"I'm sorry that I lied. I wanted to tell you, I planed to. You're my best friend. You know everything about me. Hell, you made me." Oliver grinned. Then it fell. "You protected and trained me for two years."

Oliver's words rang out, everyone in the room knew what that meant. Slade had been on the Island.

"I betrayed you." Oliver said, "Billy betrayed you. Tortured the both of us."

Moira gasped, pain welling in her chest.

Walter reached down and took his wife's hand. Feeling her squeeze tightly.

"I know how much you hate people who lie. You said that lying had no place between partners and you were right." He wanted so badly for Slade to just turn around but at the same time he could not bare to see his face. "I should never have hidden the truth from you."

Slade listened. Oliver was trying to mess with his head, he knew that. He had killed Shado, he owed it to her to make him suffer. It's what she wanted.

"I hated you for what you did. I'm sorry I took your eye."

Lance looked over to the Australian. He normal eye was facing him but he could see the man was deep in thought.

"You said we were brothers and we are." Oliver pointed out. "As much as I tried to hate you after you died. All I could think of was how much I missed you."

Lance saw Slade's eye fly wide.

"I thought about you most hours of the day." Ollie said. He breath came out sharp as if he was sobbing. "Then one day I cracked. I cried and screamed. I begged you to come back, to not be dead." his head fell forward. "I put your mask on a wooden pole to remind me about what I did to you. So I could suffer. Like Shado, I never wanted to be forgiven."

"I used to talk to you at night. You were the only person who really understood me." Oliver lifted his head. "And sometimes I would sit in the plane and pretend that you were there." He had even done so when he left Starling after the undertaking. Ollie smiled sadly. "Like the times you would teach me to shave with a knife. I would keep failing and cutting myself, and you would have to do it for me. All the while looking like you were thinking about stabbing me." he chuckled. "It took me a while to realise you did that on purpose."

Slade's eye fell shut as he listened to Oliver's voice. He sounded so much like the kid he once knew.

"Or how about the time we hid in a tree to spy on Fyers' men? Realising far too late that they were setting up calm right under us." Oliver's smile grew. "And then because of stiff legs I had to sit in your lap. I remember asking you not to get an erection and you had to shove your scarf in my mouth because I could not stop laughing at the look on your face."

A small smile pulled at corners Slade's lips at the memory.

"I did not realise how much you did for me until you were gone." Oliver looked at the back of Slade's head. His hair looked fluffy but Oliver remembered that it felt wiry from that one time Slade had brushed against him. "I would do anything to have you back as my partner again. Fighting side by side."

Slade remember how Oliver always looked at him with a goofy smile when he did something right but only when Slade gave him some sort of hint that his assumptions were correct.

"I always wonder how much of your despair was caused by me not telling you. And if I had told you, could you ever forgive me." Oliver pondered. "But it does not matter now. You want me to suffer. Want me to die." Oliver closed his eyes. "Okay."

Slade blinked, wondering what Oliver meant by that. Then he heard the gasps but what made him turn around was the sound of the safety catch being pulled back.

Oliver stood there with a gun to his temple.

Slade's heart skipped a beat.

"Just-" Oliver gulped. "Just let this be the last of this." He pulled back the trigger.

"Oliver!" Moira screamed as the shot rang out.

Oliver stared at Slade's face. The Aussie had jumped forward and pushed the gun up, causing the bullet to hit something on the wall. It was not until Ollie heard the sound of glass and plastic hitting the floor, that he guessed that he had hit the clock.

Everyone watched in amazement.

"Don't you ever do that again!" Slade roared.

"What do you want from me?!" Oliver yelled. A tear ran down his cheek.

Slade just watched Oliver, not believing what he was seeing. He reached up a hand and brushed away sadness with his thump.

"I'm sorry." Oliver said, "I'm sorry I ruined you." He dropped the gun. It clattered on the floor.

Slade moved from Oliver and walked away.

Oliver felt cold.

* * *

An hour since the incident with Slade and Oliver, Thea walked into the police station. She was not running and she looked unharmed.

Lance let Oliver see her. He had tried to question the blonde but he said nothing. He just looked down at his hands.

The siblings hugged and Oliver could not believe that Slade had just let her go.

Naturally Lance asked about what happened and Thea told him that Slade had let her go, saying something about the plan being off. She did however have a message, which she was unsure who it was for or what it meant, so she just said it.

"He said; how different things could have been after the first winter." Thea said, "No idea what he meant."

But Oliver did.

Ollie remembered the first winter the two shared. One night Slade had dragged Oliver over to join him in bed to keep the younger billionaire warm and every night for those cold nights Oliver would climb in. Had Slade been a woman, Ollie knew what would have happened in time -if not the first night- If it had gone that way, things would be very different.

Oliver just thought about the way Slade would pull his back to his warm broad chest. Or the times Oliver lay his head on Slade's chest, arm over his ribs.

How different things could have been.


End file.
